What If
by Aquatica
Summary: Harry Potter thought he was escapeing madness, he thought he would finish his summer absolutely Snape free, Harry though wrong. Now Harry must escape some very strange obstacles and figure out what would have happened if... Slightly AU.
1. The Matter of Dudley

**Disclaimer:** Okay. I do not own Harry Potter No matter how much I want to, He and all of his friends, family, and enemies, belong to J.K. Rowling , Though I will for the sake of creativity allow a few of my own creations to wonder in.

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**Chapter 1: The Matter of Dudley.**

It was a typical summer morning in little whining , and as a consequence Harry Potter had yet to reach over and stop his ever so annoying alarm clock. The clock, which had once belonged to his buffoon of a cousin, was now shrieking out in a way that was most unpleasant and it seemed Harry was not the only one disturbed by this occurrence.

"HARRY TURN THAT BLOODY ALARM OFF NOW OR SO HELP ME I"LL SQUISH BOTH IT AND YOU!!!!!!!!!!" His uncle bellowed form down the stairs.

Harry rolled out of bed sleepily and stretched out his arm to silence the over bearing menace. 'One week just and only one week till term starts.' This had been Harry's way of handling the summer, though the thought was far from happy it kept him going. 'What to cook? Eggs? No. Toast? No. Nothing? Better stick to oatmeal.' Harry quickly glanced at the clock knowing what time it was and when the Dursleys woke up would hasten him greatly as the two times weren't far apart . Finishing breakfast sooner meant he could go back to his room to do more homework , not to say the idea pleased him much. Harry knew that it would only cultivate more thoughts about his godfather or ex-god father now.

'It's all your fault!!! You did this to him Harry James Potter and then you let his killer get away !! If only you weren't so stupid!!!!' Harry's mind slowly wondered back to breakfast, as the other topic would cause him to make another mistake and at the moment he could not afford one of those. Things had been rather unusual since Dudley had gone.

Harry slowed as his mind wondered back to that day and those that had followed:

One evening Dudley had come home unusually late looking rather unusual.

"Where were you Dudley we were soooo worried?" Aunt Petunia looked very close to hysterics.

" I wasn't any where Mum Just cool it alright!" Vernon looked him over and took on a rather odd look, it was a look that he usually used when speaking to Harry, though to Harry's knowledge he never looked so dazed and confused as he did at that moment .

" Dudley Dursley your mother asked you a question!!! You had better answer it!!" Vernon's mustache wiggled beneath his nose.

" Me and a few of my friends went to…. Um… Pearce's… yeah Pearce's and we …well…we ate some cake and we…" Dudley faltered and it became evident that this discussion was headed in a direction that no one in the room would have expected ten minutes before.

" Never you mind Dudley I know where you were!!" Vernon said in a most parental voice. His mustache wavered in a most walrus like fashion and Harry noted that the ever-present vein that usually only throbbed on his account was now growing and began to pulsate before his very eyes . "Petunia bring me the phone."

"Dad…Dad…DAD!!! Who are you calling?" Dudley pleaded.

"The police." his father responded.

" WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? DON"T CALL THEM!!!!!!!" Dudley cried.

" Dudley there are many things I can deal with and a juvenile delinquent with an obvious 'Drug Problem' is not one of them!!!" Vernon called as Petunia began to cry and Harry who seconds before had dared to step into the light to get a better look at what was happening retreated to the shadows at the foot of the stairs.

"But dad I don't have a…" Dudley began but was suddenly silenced by a violet shudder followed by the ever resounding thud of Dudley's pale unconscious body hitting the floor. This was oddly enough the exact moment that Vernon got through .

"Operator?…I need you to send an ambulance to Number 4 Privet Drive. I believe my son may have just collapsed due to an … accidental… overdose. Yes , yes thank you." Vernon looked close to tears as he spoke his voices thick and almost pleading, when he finished he went to Petunia who was next to the mass that was Dudley, and held their son until the ambulance arrived.

Harry remembered waiting for what felt like hours on the dewy lawn of his aunt and uncle's home, true he had no real like for Dudley, in fact he would say he definitely disliked him severely, but Harry knew the feeling of losing someone close to you and stayed until the ambulance arrived because of that.

Dudley would recover, of course, but he would be spending the next six months in a correctional facility for other charges discovered during his trial and he was required to attend rehabilitation therapy for the duration of his stay. Though what happened after that was anyone's guess. As was allowed Vernon decided to visit Dudley in the facility were Dudley was to be held and treated three days after the incident and much to Harry's surprise and dismay he "asked him to come along"

"Why do I Have to go?" Harry asked.

" Because he is your cousin."

"Yeah, But he HATES me!"

"How do you know?" Vernon was reaching the edge of his patience.

"BECAUSE!!!"

" Look you ungrateful wretch if you don't get your happy Arse in the car right now I'll pick you up and put you in the trunk!! Petunia is in the hospital ( Author's Note : Nervous Break Down.) and we already have one junkie on our case I'm not about to let you sell all of our things so you can go out and buy drugs!" Vernon pick Harry up by his collar and thrust him into the car seat.

They drove 150 miles due west to St. Brutus's Facility for Incurably Criminal Boys making only on stop at a small coffee shop along the way.

"Are you coming?" Vernon asked as they sat in the virtually vacant parking lot.

"Umm…" Harry was slightly confused.

"Are you coming ?"

"I supp…"

" I'm not leaving you in the car!" Vernon said in a light and eerily comical voice. Harry remember that voice all to well having used it himself for a short time after Sirius passed. Shock.

"Yes of course sir."

They sat in the cramped booth waiting for the waitress To bring them their orders. The awkward silence could swallow someone up if they weren't prepared. Oddly enough Vernon was the one to break the silence.

"I knew. You know Harry?" Though Harry just gazed at him slightly confused. "About Dudley. Nothing was right when he came back from school. He was either dead or alive, he only spoke to us for money and to give lame excuses about his whereabouts." Harry nodded politely citing this show of humanity as a sign that something was very wrong. "Harry?… Do they do drugs at your school?"

Harry was at a loss. "Well I suppose drugs are every where."

"But at that freak school of yours?" Vernon insisted.

" Yes even at my school"

" Sir? Your order." The waitress chimed in.

The two ate in the heavy silence that had followed them in and were quickly on the road again. Harry spent the long drive contemplating : He and Vernon had lived in the same house now for Nearly 15 years and never had they spoken so much. This was the most they had ever spoken without a resulting punishment for Harry.  
Their visit for the most part was a waste. Dudley was in Lock-Down and wasn't allowed visitors. Then of course Vernon's paternal inclinations died both quickly and hard.

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**So what did you think?** If you like it review, if you don't… Tell me what you didn't like. Flames will be used to heat my obscenely cold house!! 


	2. Don't forget the kitchen sink

**Dis' Claimer:** I don't own itBut ifI did,I would totally do the happy dance

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**Chapter 2:Don't forget the kitchen sink**.

It Happened on a quiet day in the third week of July and it was very unexpected. Again he was haunted by Voldemort's thoughts. These he could not place, though he knew somehow they were important and oddly unwatched. Over the summer Harry had finally made some slight progress with Occulemency Though he knew in Snape's eyes it would be yet another failure.

"Harry" Harry looked around groggily. "Harry Potter? He lived?"

The voice was low and reminded Harry of someone who was either very elderly or very large. Where was it coming from "Master I watched him our best chance was when they left."

" No Nicholson you didn't watch. Seeing as how he's still alive is he not?" The rage of Voldemort coursed through the his veins. Harry could see now very plainly. The man was about middle-aged with a large balding head and a medium frame, Though it was hard to tell Because the man Nicholson was currently Pressing his nose into the ground, in a ridiculously low bow.

"You failed for the last time Nicholson!" Harry could feel Voldemort's Snake-like eyes narrow and his bony hand clasping his wand tightly in vicious fury.

"You-you can't!" the man cried finally raising his face from the floor, his face was smooth and yet old at the same time and deep brown eyes now blazed with fear this was a man who had made a quick just from merely worried to ready to sellout his own mother for forgiveness," I-I know things. About Lily-James. The Potters I've seen them they were talking!"

Harry felt his grip loosen slightly and was meagerly interested now, " To whom?"

"Pettigrew sir. Something about hiding from you sir. Please I know more too. Snape. The Traitor he turned and left Bella and Goyle out in the open! And the Longbottoms I know where they are and when their child will be available. I can bring you anything, any thing at all master but please you must spare me "

He was pleased and his wand now rested on his lap, what this man said was important, Now he could play with him, For what fun is being a dark lord if you cannot toy with the emotions of you minions. "Thank you Nicholson you have brought me what I wanted," He paused. Then added acidly "You have served your purpose. Lucius take him to McNair He's hiding something and I want to know what it is."

"Right away master" Malfoy grabbed Nicholson "Come with me" then turned to Voldemort and kowtowed most regally and promptly left for the dungeons.

As he Awoke he could still hear Nicholson's screams. Or was it?

"Potter. Get Up !" Thundered the order up the stairs. He sat up slowly and thought 'If I lay back down I risk an argument on touchy grounds, on the other hand if I get up now I have to deal with them all day' grudgingly Harry tore himself from the warm comfy confines of his blankets favoring the idea that if he did what ever the Dursleys now required he could find a place for a nap later.

He cast a glance around the room he really needed to read what little mail he had the pile was stacking up though Harry could guess what it said :  
"Dear Harry,

Ron and I are at Grimuald Palace doing nothing but spying on the order and we can't tell you any thing, Blah blah blah oh and by the way Happy birthday.

Sincerely Hernione"

As he concluded his grouchy musings, he bent over and examined the stereo he had salvaged from Dudley's room and began to fidget with the dials so as not to alert anyone to some f the more interesting stations or advances in technology. It still had most of its buttons when he found it and after a month of writing the Weasley twins back and forth he had managed to configure a rustic version of wizard in radio though Fred and George both said that it lacked some of the more radical functions. Dudley had simply lost interest.

He leaned forward to press the power button when Vernon called again "We have waited long enough Potter!" So Harry Abandoned the stereo and pulled on a clean shirt and some jeans then dashed down the stairs however, Harry stopped before he reached the ground level of the house, 'I know that voice…SNAPE?'

"Potter We're in a hurry! We only have 10 more minutes so you'd better get your butt in gear or we're leaving without you!" Moody's voice crashed up the stairway.

They must have brought the whole Guard again, Harry thought, " Will I need my trunk?"

"Are you going to School this year?" Lupin retorted.

Not to be out done Harry replied," I'll take that as a 'No' then."

"I don't think so!" Tonks said from behind him, Harry turned, practically on instinct,as he left the bottom stair to see Tonks levitating his trunk.

"You too? But then where are Ver…"

"Hi, Harry." Vernon said softly, a little too softly, Petunia also seemed a little sedated.

"You lot… you? Are they going to be okay?" Harry asked warily as he watch his aunt and uncle who were seated on their living room sofa gazing about as though they were in some now magical place. 'This is just too wrong.'

"Oh yes absolutely fine. Maybe they'll even be a little more polite!" Lupin somewhat laughed out, this had to be the most amused Harry'd seen him in some time, it was good to see.

"Harry! Did you know these people were wizards? When I was young I always wanted to make things happen, can you get them to show us something?" Vernon asked sounding perfectly childish.

"What did I say Vernon?" Vernon peered cautiously toward Tonks as if to say 'I don't know.' " If you're a good little boy then I'll show you the coolest trick in the whole wide world."

"Okay guys this is just too weird! Can you fix them now before, and this is gonna sound just like Petunia, the neighbors see?"

"Potter has a point." Snape agreed through clenched teeth.

"Fine then you old wet blanket! Lupin fix them." Tonks said.

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley if you could please watch very closely, when I snap my fingers you will fall into a deep sleep" Lupin said in his best magician's voice then curtly snapped.

"Lupin are you a street magician or a wizard? Fix them and be done with it." Moody said as he glanced nervously in to the kitchen.

"That was sooo cool can you do it again?" Petunia said, mystified.

"LUPIN!" Everyone said at once. (Everyone consisting of Moody, Snape, Harry, and Kingsly; Tonks and Lupin were still having quite a laugh)

"Right then. Fixius-Upious!" Lupin said, somewhat shot down. Instantly the pair fell over obviously unconscious.

"Okay, everybody ready? Grab the kitchen sink and lets get out of here before we're spotted."

Tonks gently lifted Hedwig's cage into the sink and began the countdown. Harry noticed that Snape looked , if it's even possible, more evil than usual. It was some thing Harry decided to ignore, and as Tonks said 'one' and he felt the pull, he decided everything was finally going to be okay. Until something happened and Harry was released!

The last thing he saw as he fell was the dark look of satisfaction in Snape's eyes.

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I would like tothank my lovely reviewers from the last chapter DragonRider22 and BabeBunny! You two are awesome! Don't be shy! Review.

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Flames? Well lets see... um okay if you flame meI shall so totally use them to light my dank laundry room. 


	3. Swap Meet

**Author's Note:** Hey you, I bet you're wondering how the first chapter plays into this? well it really doesn't. I just coudn't do a good enough job of the Dursley's so i just made them O.O.C. due to the circumstances. Sorry for those i offened with it but there you have it.

**Dis' Claimer:** I don't own Harry but if I did I would share him with everyone .

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**Chapter 3: Swap Meet**

"Harry!" a voice called into the odd tangle of blankets of which Harry had found himself amasses in. "Harry James Potter! Get up now or your going to be left, And I know how you've simply been dieing to go to that Quiddich thing you and your Dad have been planning all year. Remember Sirius is in a hurry!"

Harry found nearly a million things wrong about that exclamation, firstly the voice was none other than his long dead mother, secondly, Sirius was dead and gone, and the problems didn't get any less complex after that. It was a few moments later that Harry realized that his eyes were clamped shut beneath the voluminous blanket that engulfed him. In fact it was not until he heard the voice that he opened his eyes.

"Big Brudder! Brudder! Hawy, Mommy and Daddy want you to get up, Uncle Siwi is hewer!" Then the root of the voice, obviously Someone who knew Harry Very well, a young girl, presumably his sister.

Finally he emerged, "Am I dreaming?" He wondered aloud while observing the room around him. The room was a standard issue area complete with a bed, desk, a closet, a dresser, and some strange game complex containing nearly every wizard game he'd ever seen and of course some he hadn't, But that wasn't all, the room was covered with Chuddley Cannon's Memorabilia.

"No Sweepy Head!" The girl leapt somewhat haphazardly from Harry's Bed and began to run away her bright red hair swinging in her wake. The Girl could have been a Weasley had her hair been more orange but it was nearly perfectly red and her eyes! She could belong to no one but Lily Potter.

'Wow, where am I? Did Snape kill me? Is this my after life?' These musings laced with Harry's attempt to get dressed were quickly brought to an end when Harry stubbed his toe on a trunk , which was , he assumed, his Howarts Trunk.

"Okay, Harry you get settled in and we'll …." Lupin began, when they arrived in Grimuald Palace ,but was quickly silenced by Mrs.Weasley.

"Where is he?"

" Umm… Right.. Next. To…. He did grab the sink didn't he? Please say he grabbed the sink, it took a month to set that up!" Tonks cried in frustration.

"Harry!" Ron and Hermione cried as they barreled in to the monstrous kitchen.

"Where?" The Order and Mrs. Weasley Said slightly at a loss.

"Under the sink!" Ron said as he and Hermione moved to relieve Harry of his tremendous burden.

"Harry! Good to see you again!" Hermione said eyeing cautiously Harry's choice of clothing, oddly he was still in his night time attire.

"Do I Know You?" Harry said

"Umm…I hope so." Said Ron then he leaned toward Hermione and said , entirely too loudly, "Do you think he hit his head."

This ultimately blew this Harry's incredibly short fuse, "Hey! Alright I've had it who are you and what's your motive , I dunno who you are but my Dad will be here soon and when he get here I'll be sure your in prison for ever ! Kidnapping is a serious offence , even if you are insane!"

"Insane? From where I'm standing the only one off his hinges here is you! I mean we rescue you from those terrible muggles then you get all crazy about it! We're your friends you know Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger?" Ron Could not allow Harry to speak that way without reminding him who they were, While the Order stood particularly silent and some how Snape had disappeared.

"Ronald Weasley? The Ronald Weasley? No Way!" Harry said disbelievingly.

"It is so my name! You can Check the Hogwarts letter I Got before my first year!" Ron was ready to argue this point to the end, and slightly befuddled by Harry's sudden change of heart.

"Wow so you mean I am best friends with the only son of the Minister of Magic?"

Harry nearly tumbled down the stairs that he assumed lead to the bottom floor of the small house. He was astounded at the sight that met his eyes.

"Morning Harry! How kind of you to join us, tell me will you be staying with us or are you going to float on up to cloud Nine?" Sirius said as a gurgling Baby on his shoulders pulled haphazardly at his hair.He then barked out his typical laugh along with Harry's Dad, but this was a different man. Sirius now stood before Harry with a wide smile that did not know Azkaban or even the idea of imprisonment, he looked more like a parental figure though he had the carefully sharp look that exposed his profession as an Auror.

"Come on Harry you can eat your toast on the way and we'll eat at the Stadium!" James said

"You lot be careful! If the Canadian Crooner Fans mob I want you to avoid egging them on, alright?" Lily said sternly "I mean it James, you too Sirius! I tell Bathilda and she'll handle you right! Pass me Angie And you lot be on your way."

"Aye captain, Anything else before we set off into a certain win and an uncertain mob of disillusioned and angry Crooner Fans?" James And Sirius jokingly mocked.

"Yes, I love you and I'll see you when we win bring me a T-Shirt."

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**Yet another Author's Note:** If you flame me I will so jar it and sell it as a portable sun, which shall make me rich Beyond My wildest dreams! Yeah so there! HA! 

**!Special Thanks to:** American-Born-Confused-Desi, DragonRider22, and BabeBunny, thanks for the reviews.


	4. only sons, severus's nightmare, and tiny

**Dis'claimer:** No folks I still don't own Harry...I'm workinmg on it though...Okay so I'm not... But, I am looking at it... 

**Author's Note:** Ha! And you folks thought you were rid of me! I'm like a virus, just give me a little time to incubate and I'll be back!

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**Only sons, Snape's nightmare, and tiny cars**

"Only child? My good boy, that sink must've hit you harder than dear Ronnie-kins thought!" George indignantly refuted Harry's accusation.

"Indeed! Only son and Dad as the Minister. George we must invest in falling sinks if these are the side effects!" Fred Quipped. As he and his brother slowly circled Harry in a most intimidating fashion.

Harry shifted in his pajama's. this was getting awkward… he'd studied history, he knew this stuff.. He knew all about the Weasley boy's, Binns had devoted a whole chapter to them. Harry was silently thankful that the room had cleared except for the strange people who had called themselves 'his friends'.

"Harry?" Hermione tested the ground, after Harry's out burst she didn't want to further offend him.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong? You look lost, and you don't have your…." Hermione glanced at his face to check for any show of emotion and stopped in awe. Why hadn't she noticed before? "Ron look at his head!"

"What?" Ron glanced evenly over to Harry only to notice what had Hermione So confused.

"Harry? You can't be Harry you don't have a scar!"

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Severus Snape rolled over in what he assumed was the worst bed he'd ever slept in.

"Where am I?" he demanded to the thin air in the dark room with no widows perceivable.

"Quiet, Snape! You'll wake the baby!" Came a voice from beyond his reach. " you know where you are!"

Snape reached out for his wand only to find nothing in it's place, now he was in deep trouble. No wand, No idea where he was, and the Ultimate Evil was on the loose… Things couldn't get much worse if he cursed himself to death.

And then the lights came on.

"Good morning you worthless slime! Welcome to the new and improved Azkaban, today you will enjoy a nice healthy serving of time and yes that's right not one but two disgusting heaps of the nastiest stuff that any house-elf has ever made!"

"That voice" Snape whispered. His room was still dingy and dank but now he could plainly see this new prison, a half molded bed in the corner and a hole in the floor… wow, he was living it up now, wasn't he? At least he had a door… that allowed him to view the opposite wall.

It was at this very moment that his gift of a door became a curse as he saw the man to whom the omnipresent voice belonged.

"Peter Pettigrew?"

"How dare you address me slime!"

Severus dropped as what he could only describe as the worst pain he had ever endured coursed though his body. It was as though his veins were on fire and refused to be extinguished. What does he think he's doing? Severus thought.

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" But I am Harry!" The boy spouted loudly and indignantly from his seat, a lovely replica of a 1930's electric chair.

" Tell us something only Harry would know!" Ron Demanded.

"Ummmm….. I have a…. a mole in between my left ring and pinky finger!" Great one Harry any Idiot who looked could say that. Harry was stuck, what did they want? Harry sat still as Fred not so gingerly checked his fingers.

" Well, he isn't lying! The mole is there, but it doesn't prove anything" George reported.

Hermione was struck, this wasn't good, here was Harry giving a strange story that couldn't possibly be true. How could she be sure he wasn't lying or worse, having a nervous breakdown?

Then it hit her… if he couldn't prove he was Harry why not find out who he was? She grabbed the others and they huddled for a moment " Guys I have an idea"

"What"

"If he can't prove who he is, then we can get him to give us information about himself… If he's a fake then he'll muck it up somehow and then we'll know for sure… all we have to do is pay attention… Good idea , then?"

"It's worth a try." Ron said and with that they broke apart and seated themselves around Harry's chair.

"Okay then Harry… Tell us about you. Where are you from, who are your parents, and well give us a short history of, well ,your history."

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" So that's why the ministry is calling the dragon wars useless information to be taught at Hogwarts."

Harry had listened patiently to the old man's ramblings but it had been sometime and his shorter attention span was getting the better of him. Sirius smiled as he noticed Harry's fidgeting in the small car that was not made to haul any more than two ,which presently contained close to twenty babbling men , women, and children.

"Harry, isn't that the stadium." Sirius asked

" umm…. I think so?" In all honesty Harry didn't know the stadiums whereabouts anymore than the rambling old man did the dragon war situation, but he was ready to escape the thunderous sound of the commotion in the car. Mental note: no car is ever to hold more that ten people at a time, Harry thought.

"Harry, come on lets get outta here before he gets into something crazy like Fairy politics, eh?' James looked at his son with a smirk that mirrored Harry' own mischievous grin.

"Why not, pops." Harry said as he slipped out of the tightly packed car onto the unknowing streets of London.

"Harry, we've been through this before, you can call me any thing but pops and father, but please I'm not grand dad, you don't get to call me that… not yet any way." James tossed Harry a sideways grin and walked on down the sidewalk.

Sirius stopped and eyed Harry "Your going to let him get away with that? Honestly Harry have we taught you nothing?"

" I'm sorry." Harry eyed his half confused, and half astonished at his behavior.

"I'll let this one pass but you seriously need to get back on top of your game, the wit master is seriously losing points to his Old man fast."

" Harry, Sirius! Hurry up or I'm going in and you can sit out here and wait!"

"I don't think so smarty pants we have our tickets right here." Sirius pulled tickets from thin air.

"Oh, yeah that's right the old charm master has just got to show-off" James laughed.

" You know it!"

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**Flamers:** Send me your flames! I totally lost my hoodie so you flames of wrath will warm me nicely.

**Author's other note:** Thanks for reading... Say since you read all oif this why not be like these people and review? Special Thanks to Sesshy's Grrl, Logi, Dragonrider22, and BabeBunny.


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